Grace?

Grace. My Grace is sufficient.

Just when I think I have thought of every dimension of grace, I am humored to find a new one at my pride's expense. I was at work ( I teach after school art to first and second grade kids) and the kids were absolutely frustrating. I was on the brink of grabbing arms and throwing the kids in the snow with no jacket on...seriously. But I made it through the day.

I walked out and headed to the train. All I could think about was... I got frustrated today, I was bad today. I got on the train, and pulled out my book to abstain from burgeoning a downward spiral of hate for myself. In between pages I prayed, and thought... but Lord, this is what I have been praying for! Patience! Help! To be a better teacher!

I got home and shook it off, relieved my roommate basically had dinner ready. I sure could have used a beer... but we only had Budweiser (eh.)

I layed in bed that night and thought to myself... this is it! This is grace. We don't pursue God so we can be better at work, or so we won't have negative emotions. Knowing God does not rid me of being frustrated... But simply lets me know that when I do get frustrated, when I do mess up, He loves me all the same. He forgives me and even loves me in the midst of my cussing out seven year olds in my head. His grace is not confined to the moments after we suck, but it is continuously alive... even we are in our prime of screwing up!

So the beauty of knowing Jesus is not that I will no longer mess up, that my sin will miraculously disappear... but that it is okay when I mess up, because we have a Savior who is empathetic to our struggles. We have a God who died because we are going to mess up and we can rejoice when we do... because we still have Christ, we still have grace.

So let us not handle our frightful humanness with despair, but with rejoicing.

Cheers to being sinners, and having a God who loves us anyways.