Designer Shades, just to hide my face.

Cooler than me?

Likely.

In fact, I often laugh at myself when "coolness" gets in the way. Now I'm not saying I'm cool at all, quite the contrary. If I was cool, these thoughts would not cross my mind... I'm pretty sure cool people don't think about being cool?

Anyways, that happened to me today... I took form over function.

I knew I was going to get my annual Black Friday pedicure at the mall with my dad and brother. Usually I forget to wear appropriate clothing and always end up having to wear those disposable flip flops that break within 5 minutes of walking in them, then I have to either ruin my pedicure by putting my converse back on or walk around barefoot, and barefoot inevitably wins... which is usually awkward and decently embarrassing for both me and other people in the mall.

But not today, today would be different, I thought as I eyed my old Birkenstock sandals, I choose to think ahead. And so I slip on my skinny jeans, ready to seize the day, only to realize that these are the worst possible pants ever to wear when getting a pedicure. I would sit in the chair, attempt to pull up my pants to place my feet in the spa, and struggle to at least get them above my calf.  But ultimately, I decide I don't care. I choose to look cool, in my skinny jeans, and risking the highest satisfaction of my pedicure.

Form over Function.

Today, my rational side just couldn't take over. I'm afraid it's becoming all too habitual for me these days...

Commitment Issues.

"Commitment Issues." It's cliche. It's over-used. It's a cop-out. It's mine.

Today I was reading in My Upmost for His Highest [hey, every woman in my family has read it, it's a right to passage for me...] and it was about the story of Mary and Martha, when Jesus asks Martha:

Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes will never die. Do you believe this?

Martha answers: Yes! I do believe that you are THE Christ. 

Chambers goes on to say, To Believe is To Commit. 

I die. This always happens, I think to myself. 

You see, when God wants me to work on something, He is very obvious about it. I've been thinking a lot about commitment lately. I have a hard time committing to any kind of plans a week in advance; even as I type this, I cannot commit to plans for tonight, forget about committing to bigger things... Commitment Issues. I have decided to take a stand against this problem in my life, I'm taking baby steps. Someone asked me to see a concert a week ahead of time, and I said yes. What is my hesitation you ask? Well, my crazy self asks, what if I don't feel like going to the concert that night? What if something better comes along? Selfish. Period. I don't commit because I am selfish. [My best friend told me this the other day... not directly, but lovingly encouraged me to think about it.] 

To believe is to commit. 

Do I believe that Jesus is the Christ, that He is the resurrection and the life? If I believe this, am I committing to it? 

Commit: Entrust, practice. (NASB) 

Commit: To give in trust or charge, consign. 

: To pledge to an issue 

: To entrust 

: To consign to custody.

 (dictionary.com) 

The last one is my favorite. Do you act as though you are consigned to God's custody? Adopted in, as his child? Is that what true belief looks like? 

"And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said, 'Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.' Having said this, He breathed His last." 

Luke 23:46

Jesus was showing His absolute dependence on God the Father... he was committing to him. We are selfish people, we don't want to commit because we think something better might come along. Chambers says, "In particular belief I commit myself spiritually to Jesus Christ, and determine in that thing to be dominated by the Lord alone." 

Do you believe this? If we believe that Jesus is the Christ, that he is who he says he is... wouldn't we act much differently? It would not be hard to commit, because we would know that there is nothing better, no better option will spring up, He is it. If we believe, we will act as one who is Consigned to God's Custody, and that in that consignment there is life. 

Psalm 37 says: 

Trust in the Lord and do good; 

dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 

Delight yourself in the Lord; 

and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

Commit your way to the Lord, 

trust in Him, and He will do it. 

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, 

and your judgment like the noonday." 

Commit your way to God, and he will do [it], give you the desires of your heart. He will be the one to bring forth your righteousness, not you, or anyone else. Commitment is scary, but if we believe something, truly believe, commitment becomes a natural step in love, and a fruitful and blessed thing. 

My hope is that by truly believing and committing to God, it will overflow in the rest of my life. I'll be committing to plans a month in advance, being the one making the plans, and who knows, maybe even committing to a long-term relationship... let's not push it. (Seriously though, let's get rid of these commitment issues. I refuse to be a cliche.) 

Lord, help my unbelief. 

grace and peace.