80 degrees. Shade. Cool breeze. Iced soy latte. Band of Horses. Lemon scone. Chicago.



I stop for one minute, close my eyes, and feel immensely blessed by my current status. My only reaction is praise. The breeze that gently rushes over my bare legs, the sunlight that just misses my eyes, the soft music in my ears as buses and bikers sweep by. Is this a reality? Thank you God for a small moment of stillness, for speaking gently into my heart and allowing me to know you are here.

I don't have moments like this very often. But lately I have been filled with peace. My heart has all of the sudden slowed down, which seems ironic because on the outside my life is busier than it has been in a while. I had a month off of school and work, and during that time I was restless. I wasn't taking time for myself, and I wasn't spending time with God. My quiet times were lost due to my own disregard of their importance. I got caught up in myself, thought that I could do it on my own... that I didn't need to have a quiet time in the morning. But looking back, I was restless. Now that I am back in a routine, waking up with a purpose, and spending time on myself and with God, I feel overcome with peace. I am not worried about getting everything I need to done, I'm not concerned with anyone else (be that a good or bad thing, right?)

So why is it so important to spend time on ourselves? Our society promotes individualism and doing things on your own, but does it encourage us to take time just to be us? To journal? To ask ourselves hard questions and challenge ourselves? I'm not sure that it does. It promotes a "I do what I want" kind of mentality, but not one that seeks out our own goodness. Maybe it does and I just ignore myself because of fear of what might come out. Might I discover something about myself that I do not like? Probably. But if I discover it now, I can work on it... which might suck and be hard, but I think it is worth it.

So I've been living alone this past week. It's crazy how much I don't like to be alone, but I'm learning to be okay with it. It has been really good for me to only be with me. Though I do get sick of myself at moments...

That's all for now.

...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.... Philippians 4:6-7.


grace and peace,
rachel